i do, i do, i do, i do, i do

Earliest memories are family weddings. Dressing up, staying out late with parents, dancing with my uncles and my father, eating too many candied almonds -- it's an Italian family -- and taking off our shoes to slide across the shining dance floor in our white-sock-feet.

In a lifetime that starts with memories of the 50s, there have been weddings of every kind. Pouring over my mother's wedding books as a child, admiring her stunning gown with its 15 foot train and begging for stories of the wedding feast with 600 guests and a cake as tall as the bride.


As a young woman, orchestrating my own simple wedding: yes to church, gardenias in my hair and a simple white sheath; no to a huge reception. Friends' weddings in back yards -- standing in a circle, arms linked, swaying to Hey Jude -- and, later, in my 30s, fabulous weddings planned by second-timer brides determined to make up earlier mistakes with elegance and grandeur.

Yesterday, a wonderful wedding, my beautiful daughter Maid of Honour. Perfection that filled my eyes with tears: Kim, a happy and beautiful bride. Glamorous yet simple, traditional but light-hearted and fun: a perfect day for a wonderful woman, my daughter's best friend for 15 years. A woman who, in younger years, allowed me a bit of advice now and then. I can hear her voice when she'd had enough: okay, M-o-mmmm..

Amy, herself, was stunningly beautiful, too. She took the stage to talk about the power and joy of their friendship and noisy wedding guests fell silent and then cheered.

We danced with the bride, her attendants and the kilted groomsmen, ate too much, reveled in the surroundings and even cried a little when the bride herself talked to her friends and family.

What she had to say caused a sharp intake of breath at first, but I thought it was profound and life-affirming. This beautiful bride, who is in her mid-30s, told this:

"When I was a girl, 15 or 20 years ago, this isn't the wedding I dreamed. Carlos is not the husband I imagined. You are not the people I thought would be sitting here. But as years pass and you grow up, you learn who and what really has meaning and importance. You know what you need and love. There's not a person in this room who won't always be in my life."

A brilliant as well as beautiful bride.